I'm Misrable

He's gone. He's in Texas now. I love him, but I cant and wont get another chance because even if he opens that door again, I wont be able to because he's in another state. I feel bad about all of this, but im at loss. He's gone... Summer backstabbed me and is now spreading rumors... Why is everyone trying to get me to my breaking point now that he's not here??? Well... I'm gonna ask my mom to transfer me to another private school over the summer if everything keeps going wrong in my life.... it's the only solution now that my breaking point is coming... I wont be surprised if one day I randomly just break down. I promised him I wouldnt do something anymore, but I want to so bad.... but a promise is a promise so I'm not gonna.

Cya for now :'(

IDK ANYMORE

We're broke up... my doing, again. Im just so confused lately, one person says "He's gonna break your heart" while another says "your good together" while another says "he's cheating on you" when other people say "again? is it gonna last this time?" theres so many different thoughts about it and i just cant take that crap anymore.... im confused, heartbroken, happy but yet sorrowfull at the same time... i dont even know what i want or how i feel..... i see why hes madder then ever bout our breakup this time

Im Sorry

Even though he's never going to read my blog again or believe me if I say this, I'm sorry. I know he doesnt believe me, and I've tried telling him, but it's like I never said it for him after I did. I was wrong to break up with him because my friends hated me. I still had Summer and Annie, but I was a selfish brat who wanted what she souldnt have. I realized a couple days ago that I'd rather have the whole skewl hate me if I could have him as a friend, or, a boyfriend, if he felt up to it. He has every right to be mad at me, and I had no good reason to break up with him. I am the worst person alive today, I broke his heart when he didn't deserve it... My heart was the one that should of been broken, no matter how broken it is right now that he hates me.  I know that he hates me, and I'm really sorry..... but it doesnt matter how sorry I am, I'll never get the thing that I realized I love the most back.

Um... Yea

Well.... I went out wit a guy after him, but I broke up with that guy today because it didnt feel right, after going out with Charly.... idk wat im suposed to do now... i try to make everyone happy, but i end up not being happy... Charly hates me and idk wat else to do nymore....